In the final days of the memecoin collapse, when Doge had lost its bark and Shiba wandered penniless, a blinding beam shot down from the blockchain heavens — and there appeared SatoshiVitalikTrumpElonSaylorRoseEagleSPX42069Inu, known to the faithful simply as $CRYPTO. Vitalik descended like the Messiah of Markets, robed in green candles, diamond hands for sandals, and a halo shaped like an all-time-high chart. Surrounding him were his holy apostles: Shrek, the swamp prophet of liquidity; Mario, breaker of resistance; Marie Rose, the elegant guardian of the order book; Trump, the loud herald whose tweets could summon instant pumps; Xi Jinping, the silent shadow who banished all FUD; Elon Musk, the rocket preacher of moon missions; Pepe, the eternal saint of memes; and Pac-Man, the devourer of red candles and liquidity pools. Together, they roamed the wasteland of charts, turning paper hands into diamond hands, multiplying bags like loaves and fishes, and sending bears fleeing into the abyss. When the final showdown came, $CRYPTO lifted the Meme Infinity Gauntlet, Shrek roared, Mario stomped the last rug, Marie Rose unleashed her stop-loss of justice, Trump shouted “MAKE MEMECOINS GREAT AGAIN!”, Xi Jinping erased the red candles from existence, Elon launched the green moon rocket, Pepe blessed the chain with eternal memes, and Pac-Man consumed the last shred of bearish sentiment. And thus it was written in the Book of WAGMI: Blessed are the degens, for they shall moon forever.